I Have Only One Message

Looking back, before I had children, I can remember how I reacted to witnessing a child's outburst or seemingly awful behavior. We can be so righteous amidst our ignorance: "My kids would never act that way - I would never put up with that" or "there is a prime example of bad parenting" or my now favorite, “If that was my kid I would…” Then I had my first child, who in all honesty, has been easier to raise than some house plants I’ve attempted to keep alive – which, of course, I attributed to great parenting. Then with all the experience and wisdom one bestows after having such a child, now I really felt qualified to judge a child’s behavior and solely place it in the hands of indolent parenting.

It is an unusual fate that I would later raise a second child with a neurological disorder and have the veil of judgment lifted, even ripped from my face in a way so jarring that I am gut-punched and humbled. Because she has no visible inequalities, we rarely have the opportunity to redeem that there are diagnoses that don't allow her to act, under certain conditions and environments, the way most children can. If every parent in public had to feel, just once, what it feels like to watch the faces and reactions of onlookers judging your child [and your parenting], we would live in a more compassionate world.

I have only one message: Before we cast any judgment to anything, to be aware that sometimes things aren't always how we perceive them; there are parts and pieces to people we don't know, that we can't see and often couldn't POSSIBLY understand. With that, we likely can't possibly understand how much harder life is for that person and for the people who love them. We can't know how desperate they are to live a "normal" life, out from the casted shadows of what is said around them. #motherlove #momanddaughter #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #adhd #momtalks #parenting